I have been part of the Shalom Catholic Community prayer group for over a year, blessed with the opportunity to share my testimony of how the Holy Spirit has transformed my life.
I was born and raised, and live in Toronto, Ontario. I did not quite grow up as a cradle Catholic, but my Mom’s side of the family has had a strong Catholic faith and history, coming from Malta. Although I was baptized at birth, I was not practicing my faith, since my mom was not anymore at the time, and neither was my dad. Besides attending Mass on certain days of obligation, such as Christmas and Easter, I did not have a deep understanding or interest of my faith, so I would just follow along as best I could. Now, I cannot say there was not a light of Catholic faith in my family. From a young age, I must give a lot of credit to my Aunts, particularly one with whom I spent more time, who further exposed me to my faith. I would often go to church with her, and I remember she would always ask if I had said my bedtime prayers. She motivated my Mom to have my first Holy Communion, which was done at the late age of 12. This was a big step for me, that was needed.
I experienced many situations which were uncomfortable for me involving the church. I encountered many unfamiliar things and people, but thanks be to God, my mom’s side of the family had kept the faith and tradition alive within me.
Fast forward to 2022, and my journey of faith and eventual encounter with the Holy Spirit began. After my Nunnu (my mom’s dad) had passed, she began going to church again, and I felt the need to come along. It was not smooth sailing for me, after all, I was still in my mid-teenage years with all the urges, fleshly desires and influence of my non-Christian friends and social media, which had a toll on my faith. However, as time passed, I gradually drew closer to God. I was praying, reading the bible, reflecting more, and even writing. These were all big steps for me. However, as I am sure many of us know and have experienced,
when we begin seeking holiness, the devil only works harder to send evil our way. And for me, this was depression and anxiety. I’ve dealt with minor anxiety in the past, so the devil knew I was weak here.
It was the next two years that I faced many challenges regarding my mental state. I tried seeking help from my family, friends, and even using prayer as my weapon, but it was never enough. I had not truly unlocked and opened my heart to the Holy Spirit, so that I would be filled and capable of battling off any darkness that tried to get in.
It was just over a year ago when I received the Sacrament of Confirmation, and then, not long after, I had built up the courage to meet the Shalom Catholic community. This was after I met one of their missionaries, Reimar, while attending a retreat, thanks to another Aunt of mine who offered me to come. Reimar had given me a flyer about Shalom. This was four or five months before, a decision I am grateful I had finally made.
So, I had just been confirmed and began to get to know Shalom through their prayer group. I knew I had been on the right path; I just had not been able to surrender all my worries and anxieties to the Lord. This kept my moods of depression and anxiety floating around. I do have to mention that during these seasons, a big contributor to my anxiety was the stress of school-related responsibilities and decisions. I mention this because, near the end of that semester, once I had finally made my decision regarding my future education, some weight began to lift, and my mind and spiritual life began to feel clearer again, as if they had been renewed. I took this opportunity to reflect and pray on how the devil had used these stresses in my life to pull me away from God and his many beautiful gifts of love, joy, peace, patience, solitude, and the power of all blessed Angels and Saints, which were much needed and missing in my life during these hard times. Making this effort led to and gave me the ability to better handle the stresses of life once they arose again, whether in school, with family, or with friends.
Jumping forward to my graduation, there was, of course, pressure I was faced with in this process, yet there was no more uncontrollable anxiety or depression that had weighed me down, and that could overcome the desire in my heart to have a truly deep encounter with the Holy Spirit.
It was around this same time that I had heard about the Acamps summer festival in Italy. This extraordinary experience and opportunity had just been opened, and I knew right away that I couldn’t miss out.
Of course, after some discussion with my parents (almost forgetting that I had only just turned 18 and had never flown on my own before), they approved, and I completed my registration. Even with all the prior information, details, and experiences that people had shared with me regarding the Acamps and how incredible it would be, it was still nowhere near enough to prepare me for how unbelievable it truly was.
The first evening we arrived could not have been more beautiful. We had celebrated Mass on the beach, and right after, we had Adoration. The focus point for me, and my experience with the Holy Spirit, began and stayed with me during Eucharistic Adoration. A special opportunity and encounter with Jesus Christ, who is truly present—Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity. Before this Acamp’s retreat, I had never once gone out intentionally to seek the Lord and meet with Him in Adoration (wow, I could not believe what I was missing).
This Eucharistic encounter with Christ through the Holy Spirit had never before touched my heart, mind, body, and soul like the way it had here. I truly felt the Holy Spirit within me and the real presence of Jesus.
What made this first encounter even greater was getting to share this experience with the many beautiful people I had not even met before. Seeing their desire and love for Christ really inspired and softened my heart. I remember, near the end, when the priest with the humeral veil had taken up the monstrance holding the consecrated Eucharist and carried it to the front of the crowd, where individuals could be physically connected by touching it and bowing their heads in the presence of Christ. As the priest continued to now move down the center of the crowd a young girl, around the age of 7, reached out and was able to touch the monstrance and when she had sat back down, I noticed the way she looked at her friends, her face was filled with an abundance of joy and love, and her friends with the same expression for her. Just beautiful, absolutely beautiful.
After personally encountering the Holy Spirit with many other wonderful people, my willingness to meet people and share my experience with them increased. I felt at peace and in joy, even in uncomfortable situations.
Following the Acamp’s, my journey had not ended, and the impact the Holy Spirit continued to have on me was salient. I was in Rome for the pilgrimage of this Holy Jubilee year. I cannot go too deep into this experience right now; otherwise, I would be writing more than I intended (you will just need to come chat with me in person). So, I will mention just a few experiences that stood out.
I made quite a big mistake midway through our pilgrimage. I left my passport and wallet behind on a coach bus (you live and you learn, right…). Well, I thank God and the power of the Holy Spirit for keeping me calm once I realized my mistake, and for the wonderful group of people I was with, from our blessed Shalom Toronto, Diocese. They were incredibly helpful and kept me on the right path in order to do all we could to retrieve what I lost. It never showed up in the end, but thanks be to God, I was still able to obtain a temporary passport within a short period and return home on schedule.
I had a profound experience of healing through the power of communion. I woke up one morning and had fallen back into a state of mental crisis, which I was confident I had overcome. This was triggered by the stress of losing my passport and the requirement to change my flight. In the midst of this crisis, the opportunity to attend Mass that same morning was there in our parish. Even though the liturgy was said in Italian, at this time, receiving the Eucharist was all I desired.
I prayed with confidence, saying that once I received Jesus’ true body and blood, I would be healed and the evil in me would not prevail. Our Almighty God had done just that. In that very instance, after receiving communion, all the evil that had been controlling me vanished. A true witness to the power of the Holy Spirit.
I am continuing to see how the Holy Spirit can work in its many ways, and a final small thing I would like to testify to is a characteristic of mine that the Holy Spirit has been working on. My boldness, confidence, and courage in situations like group speaking and praying, as well as freely expressing myself, especially in such situations, have always been a great struggle. These necessary steps of personal improvement regarding my spiritual life and the small, yet deep impact I leave behind have been made possible by the Holy Spirit. I am committed to addressing the challenges I face, as this is all for the Glory of Our Lord and His Heavenly Kingdom.
I hope that through the Lord’s providence, I have been able to connect with someone reading this and leave a lasting impact with my Testimony. The Holy Spirit is truly all-powerful and will allow Jesus to make a way in your life. As it is through the blessed sacraments, gifts of the Spirit and your continual effort to pray, desire, and be patient with the Lord, you will be filled. And I pray that you are noticing His doing of this in the fullness of your life, which He has granted to you.
All of this is to testify to the power of the Holy Spirit, who has brought light into my darkness and continues to guide me on the path of faith.
Charlie Brewer
